How do you get 4 Elephants in a Mini ???

Well you have to use the trunk I guess ?? No idea really :) But I am faced with a problem - I have timed the show twice, with the couple of extra bits I am adding in (an odd Elephant), and I keep coming out way over 1 hour ... The show slot I am allocated only allows an hour...

I tried speeding up my talking - still over an hour ...

I tried speeding up a couple of the songs (turned a romantic Ballard into something off the Pinky and Perky Greatest Hits album) still over an hour .. and somehow the line "sang as if she knew me in all my dark despair" - just did not come out with the same emotional effect in 78 ... Go figure ??

Something has go to go ... I say NO NO NO NO ( you couldn't see me doing my petulant child on the floor - but if you could have - it was a classic :) )

Ah well .. I can throw all my toys out of the pram and object all I want - but 6 mins of the show has to be cut... Thrown on the editors floor like a young actress at a film casting ... Left and unloved like Aberdeen Angus Steak at a Hindu wedding ....

Sulking over - Guess I have some work to do on the show again tomorrow !!

Aratherunhappybareguitarist...

Hey Hey they're the Monkeys / Monkees !

OK decision made they are definitely in the show - no turning back now - I am going to reduce some of the pre-ambling / waffle / party political broadcast (joking .. don't panic..) at the start of the show and have my favourite Monkees piece in the show ..... no not those monkeys ...

These Monkees !!!!! (saw them live at the Royal Albert Hall this year - Great performance )..

Whilst a nice Cuppa may be welcome during the show :):)....

So that's a main stream piece - right ? and as per comments received from people it adds a bit of popular music in.. I now have to look at the rest of the show, and some less well known music and make a call about some of those pieces ..

I was thinking ....

I know some bits of my performance have been recorded on mobile phones - and besides the pieces I have played on request - I guess that at some point some bits of video are going to be published ... (lets hope its NOT the naked rendition of "I'm a lumberjack" I did in the Canaries as a forfeit when I lost at cards ...)

Maybe I can save that for the show ... LOL.....

Classic Music / Folk Music .....

Its Sunday - just Sunday - and rain has forced a day of reflection and consideration on the show content. The only problem I have is I have become precious about the music I currently have in the show, and I don't want to replace any of it. I like it - but I guess the show is going to be about what other people want to hear and see....

Yesterday I was with a group of people from British Military Fitness ... especially comes to mind a young woman from Holmesfirth.. ( for those who don't know its a small place in Yorkshire, just outside Sheffield. famous for the best Indian takeaway in the North..) who trained and became qualified musically, tried for 2 years to get some continuous work and ended up getting a normal job to sustain her. She sounds like she has a good classically trained voice ... man am I in trouble... hee hee ...

I have also been struggling with where to put this amazing image I got from Landsend of a talking telescope ... yes a TALKING telescope !!! In my mind it has a dirty old mans voice heavy breathing type of voice, that sort of 40 Cigs a day voice ... and it says things like "Hello you good looking girly - fancy a look??" " just lean a little more forward for a better look!!" - well anyway it needs some development...

Anyway - the challenge is just what to add - and what to take out - and I cant decide - no actually I don't want to decide... guess that's for tomorrow...

Un peu de tendresse bordel de merde!

In order to maintain the reputation of being totally insane I took Sooty to the show. Suffice it to comment this was not suitable for his age group... with total nudity for about 50% of the show. However, the show was a class act of disciplined dance and while I did end up with a naked man's bottom on my head (read about the show to discover why) I still had to respect the balls of 20 odd stark naked talented men and women dancers who got their kit off for their art. I have a number of friends who I know have got their kit off for less dignified endeavours - yes you know who you are !!!! Yes - I know who you are !!!!

big night out for the bare guitarist and his trusted colleague Sooty - and sooty was no stranger to drinking wine this night....

so a couple of nights now I have not progressed my show, in terms of the material, but I have had the opportunity to mention it to a few people who seem to like the concept of what I am trying to achieve. However the straw poll seems to come out on the side of me being insane to do this in the first place... This doesn't bother me as I said in an earlier blog I am a couple of condoms short of an orgy ....

The worse for wear (beer) and knackered from a heavy Gym and cycling session earlier in the day - its time for bed before my blog becomes entirely the ranting of a lunatic.

With the thought that nothing ventured is nothing gained - then I have gained nothing from the last two days.... but tomorrow I must do some work on the show.
The Bare Guitarist...

Freetown - Sierra Leone - West Africa

As you know, if you have read my previous blog Lord Kitchener, my roots, as well as many generations of my family, were born and bred out of West Africa - we are Freetownians from the port town of Freetown in Sierra Leone. One of only a few pictures of these days was kindly posted onto facebook by my sister (who is also in the photo above). I am not going to say which one is me .. just to say that I am in the photo (the good looking one) - along with my cousins - outside the back of the shop we had in the centre of town. Before anyone thinks of making the comment - yes we had colour photos in those days !!!

These were days that stick in the memory for ever, for good and bad reasons. Like the book by Allen Moore The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen where Allan Quatermain was said to be cursed by the fact that Africa would never let him die ... and whilst I know this was set in East Africa - Its a strange feeling of never having left Africa every time I return.

Memory can be rose coloured, but a lot of musical influences came out of those days for me, and as my family were all from the great era of Little Richard, Bill Haley and the Comets, Elvis, etc etc.. then this is what we listened to at every BBQ / Party / event. These were entertainers who worked hard to ensure they sold records and made a living from the business. (steps off soap box.. for a while anyway :) ) Music and TV were years behind the UK in terms of what we listened to and watched.

Last night was all around getting the timing and presentation correct on one of the songs - I can say that what I have planned is not going to be easy ... and I still haven't got a clue how to execute it... BUT ...If I could make what happens in my head happen in reality, then its going to be a fun piece... else its going to be a glorified disaster .. (being a half empty glass person I have my thoughts about the outcome of this). Its a brand new music comedy piece called A Young Lad. If you get to the show - watch out for it...

So out to watch a very strange play by Dave St-Pierre in Saddlers Wells tonight - Un peu de tendresse bordel de merde! is about the search for love and the human form. Using humour to tackle taboo subjects, it features 20 dancers, naked both literally and figuratively...

Just the thing for a Bare Guitarist .....

All Confused !!!!

I have a growing number of unique and rarely heard pieces for the show at the Ed Fringe this year - but there is always the thought that people want to listen to music they know.. and there is not much of this planned into the schedule at the moment.

The thought came during my long adhoc charity feed (see "The day after the night before" post May) with some good friends - and during that evening discussion the down sides of concerts / shows / that do not pamper to the comfort level of an audience expecting to hear what they know, was high on the topic list.. I began to think that my show has too much "unknown / new" music in the mix.

How to address this - a poll on Facebook to ask the friends of the bareguitarist group their opinion combined with some whining on my blog..

I have some favourite Monkees - I would like to pop in a classic or two like Knights in White Satin - some more up to date stuff - and some little known Irish songs such as Bog Down in the Valley O (yes this O is supposed to be there.. its Irish and everything ends in an O !! - if the Monkees where Irish they would be the Monkees O .. )
The problem is to add all this stuff - this would then become a jamming session not a show ... All Confused !!!! (not .com)

NB - anyway I prefer compare the Meerkats.com and for some surfing compare the Muskrats.com - its personal so don't ask !!(if you haven't seen the advert this will be a rather worrying read !! )

averyconfusedbareguitarist...

Lord Kitchener

Horatio Herbert Kitchener, better known as Lord Kitchener, is most famously remembered for being the face in the recruiting poster of the British people, in the First World War.

I can hear the cogs turning in peoples heads as they ask the question ... is this chap insane? how does this link to the Bareguitarist show ? can I find the same drugs as this chap is taking without a prescription?

Well the Campaign by Lord Kitchener is only relevant if you do a search on Calypso Lord Kitchener then you will not only get an insight into the mind of a deranged lunatic - but also into some of the music for the show... Yeah man - and having my roots in West Africa this stuff was all around me as I grew up.

I know - if you can be bothered - this will make sense and you will start to realise that I am not TOTALLY insane - just a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic, or a few condoms short of an orgy, which ever you prefer....

I have some brand new pieces for the show... which is either a recipe for utter disaster or a stroke of genius (I think I know the answer to this question..) and tomorrow I have to start work on getting them presentable.

I am doing the Blog entry now as I am going to meet up with some guys for a liquid gathering later.. and the last time I did a Blog entry after I had been drinking it was apparently closer to Chinese than English...

No progress on the show today then :(