How to make friends and influence people.

Thats it then ... tonight - tonight - TONIGHT - I am going to really sharpen this show. I am going to take it to the very edge of taste and comedy. I am going to be 3/4 Bernard Manning ... 1/2 Chubby Brown ..... and 1/3 rd The sooty show ... oh yes ... TONIGHT !!!

So I did - I trimmed the show - I set up the comedy - sharpened up the wording - took out some of the music - and went for it ..

I started the show with about 20 people... two women who were clearly struggling with English left fairly quickly. OK - but I knew they would as even the introduction was a struggle for them..

I seemed to be going OK .. then as I was pushing the show along went into Zombie ... now Zombie is based around the deepest superstitions of Ju-ju in Africa ... one of the most powerful things is the ability to raise someone from the dead ......

a group of about 6 or 7 had all come in together ... this group had one very Africa looking girl. I can say that,  as it the same look as my cousins have when they come over to visit. Its a dress style, head scarf tied in a certain way etc. I guess its like seeing someone wearing a Kilt in London .. you may be wrong in your presumptions, but bet you're not far off.  So into Zombie ... within seconds - this young girl had knocked over 4 chairs in a panic, grabbed her bag, and was heading for the door like a bolt of lightening - followed by her friends, who I am guessing had zero idea of what was going on. I knew. I had seen this type of panic before in girls in Africa for lessor reasons... but to sing a song about one of the most feared cult religions and one of the strongest and most powerful aspects of it ... she was OFF ...

OK John - its not a good day then. we are now down to a handful. All going well. I am stumbling a bit as I cant explain to the audience what they have just seen, without it all sounding a bit un-real .. so to top this, I went into some cracks related to people from Wales ... Africa .. and Scotland. just mild tempered references I have in the show. Well, "gim me your glass lass" I heard from an Edinburgh chappie to his wife. "you're No funny laddie" .. and he hit the doors.  I am not sure who they were really .....

Those who know me .. know that I restrained by the spirit of the Fringe at this point.. as I had an overwhelming feeling of wanting to smack the idiot. So its ok to joke about everyone else - but how dare I crack a joke about Scottish !!!! I do hate people like that.

So nearly an empty room - atmosphere GONE .... my temperament GONE ... I just wound the show to its end.

So I am going to change a couple of things - and try this same format tomorrow ...

After all - its about being a bare-faced guitarist !!!!