The land where 1 off 8 is a punch up !!

In celebration of the release of the press pack - seeing my entry in the Fringe magazine under "MUSIC!!!" (there will be some very upset people at this show I can tell you :) ) and a busy busy busy week of various good bad and down right pug ugly things - it was time to see how much wine I could drink in one hour ... the answer .... 1 & 1/4 bottles...

The world always seems that little bit better with beer goggles ... :)  One of my illicit affairs photographed on the left .. well educated woman - she was no dummy !!!

You know you have had a good night when you wake up next to a manikin .. and boy have I woken up next to some manikins in my time ....but that's another story I guess....

The night passed and finished off with Mars Attacks again on Sky movies. I have no idea why this appeals to me as a film, its not Hitchcock after all  ... it just tickles my sense of ironic humour and mimics various films in a cleaver and subtle way .. the tones and shades used in this vivid reproduction are well put together and the film ends with the good guys winning .. (note the artistic commentary now I am in the Fringe magazine .. Hee hee..) LOL ....

Now - removing myself from up my own a*se ...   

Today was an early start to get some bits of work completed ready for the weekend when I am going to be tied up with various things including popping in to see my mother in the North of England... I am going to do a blog entry about her, as she is far to complex a character to try to explore in a paragraph - its going to take a few pages, years of counselling, and a whole load of happy pills, to get the picture of this ex-rock and roll queen !!!

So its off Up North - where Tea is at Dinner time, Dinner is at Lunch time, Supper is a beer drinker in the local pub, 1 off 8 (when in Yorkshire) is asking for a fist fight, and Tin tin tin is not a stuttering attempt to discuss a Herge cartoon !!!!

I hope to get a walk in also when I am up there - as one of my most favourite places in the UK is Hope Village and the walk to the road that does not exist in Castleton !!! with the obligatory huge buttie from the shop in Hope, as a light snack for the walk - or possibly lunch (or dinner) or ... too confused to continue.... lets just say food shall we?

The Bareguitarist.

Publish And Be Damned

PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC ........ PICNIC PICNIC 

So its that time of the day / month / year / decade ... its time to publish my press pack for the Ed Fringe .. and I am nervous about it.. in fact I am crapping myself.. but as everyone else is getting a sight of this in open forum - then I thought you would also like to see what it includes...

So here is is - included in this blog ... enjoy :)

Nothing more to say today - need I say more ????? except for the fact that when I put the image into the blog - you couldn't read the text :) so taken that out and a good old fashioned cut and paste below ...

_________________________________________________________
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Contact: The Bareguitarist
Contact Person John
Company Name The Bareguitarist
Telephone Number xxxxxxxxxxxx
Email Address john@jrsmd.co.uk
Web site address www.jrsmd.co.uk

Cafe Renroc Bar / Nevo Health, 91 Montgomery Street, Edinburgh EH7-5HZ

August 5th to August 13th - FREE Edinburgh Fringe

From 4.50 PM to 5.50 PM

At the Renroc Bar and Café just a few minutes walk from Elm Row (Leith Walk) or the top of Easter Road – 

Performing live –

The Bareguitarist

with his alter-ego

The Bearguitarist

Will be performing “Its All A Memory” - a Mike Harding style show of music and comical renditions. It’s FREE to enter with a fantastic up and close personal staged area; the audience will be right up with the show AND could be in it.

The show is on stage for one hour, and combines the performance of new, obscure, and classic pieces of music, to make the audience feel both involved and entertained. Behind the show is a selection of imagery designed to provide the backdrop of the trip through the underlying theme of “It’s All A Memory”. This is a brand new show; never been seen in its entirety before. However parts of the show have amazed audiences in the UK..

Devon The bumpkins “I have never done this with someone else … a really emotional experience” - London DM “ You kept that a secret” - Sheffield JT “Ay up luv …by eck ..Tha knows thee” - Raynes Park MD “why is the bear there??” (kids of a friend of mine)

You won’t have seen a show like this, and comes with a parental advisory, if you need to bring young adults to the show. Not really suitable for young kids, sorry.

Goodbye Postman Pat

Its taken a lot of Heart searching - Soul reflection - Mind Probing (yes MIND !!! probing) - Consultation - Discussion Groups, and finally - my unique version of Postman Pat has got to go... I got some good fun stuff from people regarding my FB post request for funny Postman Pat stuff - not enough to do what I wanted though... thanks for all the contributions... BUT ...

This is a sad day... a minutes silence please .... Hey you at the back - be quiet !!!

Its of course not the full 6 mins I need to cut to get the show overrun sorted - but its a start.

I guess its time to do a dry run of the show then to see what the timing is like - but I have Hostel running in the background and its distracting me .. so maybe tomorrow then..

In the meantime I must do my press pack for the show - my press releases - and some other work -fun fun fun ....This is great - a very exciting time..

Well as I am sharing what has been taken out of the show in tonight's blog - I will share an image that nearly made it... but got dropped also, below...

Enjoy :) :)

The Bareguitarist

How do you get 4 Elephants in a Mini ???

Well you have to use the trunk I guess ?? No idea really :) But I am faced with a problem - I have timed the show twice, with the couple of extra bits I am adding in (an odd Elephant), and I keep coming out way over 1 hour ... The show slot I am allocated only allows an hour...

I tried speeding up my talking - still over an hour ...

I tried speeding up a couple of the songs (turned a romantic Ballard into something off the Pinky and Perky Greatest Hits album) still over an hour .. and somehow the line "sang as if she knew me in all my dark despair" - just did not come out with the same emotional effect in 78 ... Go figure ??

Something has go to go ... I say NO NO NO NO ( you couldn't see me doing my petulant child on the floor - but if you could have - it was a classic :) )

Ah well .. I can throw all my toys out of the pram and object all I want - but 6 mins of the show has to be cut... Thrown on the editors floor like a young actress at a film casting ... Left and unloved like Aberdeen Angus Steak at a Hindu wedding ....

Sulking over - Guess I have some work to do on the show again tomorrow !!

Aratherunhappybareguitarist...

Hey Hey they're the Monkeys / Monkees !

OK decision made they are definitely in the show - no turning back now - I am going to reduce some of the pre-ambling / waffle / party political broadcast (joking .. don't panic..) at the start of the show and have my favourite Monkees piece in the show ..... no not those monkeys ...

These Monkees !!!!! (saw them live at the Royal Albert Hall this year - Great performance )..

Whilst a nice Cuppa may be welcome during the show :):)....

So that's a main stream piece - right ? and as per comments received from people it adds a bit of popular music in.. I now have to look at the rest of the show, and some less well known music and make a call about some of those pieces ..

I was thinking ....

I know some bits of my performance have been recorded on mobile phones - and besides the pieces I have played on request - I guess that at some point some bits of video are going to be published ... (lets hope its NOT the naked rendition of "I'm a lumberjack" I did in the Canaries as a forfeit when I lost at cards ...)

Maybe I can save that for the show ... LOL.....

Classic Music / Folk Music .....

Its Sunday - just Sunday - and rain has forced a day of reflection and consideration on the show content. The only problem I have is I have become precious about the music I currently have in the show, and I don't want to replace any of it. I like it - but I guess the show is going to be about what other people want to hear and see....

Yesterday I was with a group of people from British Military Fitness ... especially comes to mind a young woman from Holmesfirth.. ( for those who don't know its a small place in Yorkshire, just outside Sheffield. famous for the best Indian takeaway in the North..) who trained and became qualified musically, tried for 2 years to get some continuous work and ended up getting a normal job to sustain her. She sounds like she has a good classically trained voice ... man am I in trouble... hee hee ...

I have also been struggling with where to put this amazing image I got from Landsend of a talking telescope ... yes a TALKING telescope !!! In my mind it has a dirty old mans voice heavy breathing type of voice, that sort of 40 Cigs a day voice ... and it says things like "Hello you good looking girly - fancy a look??" " just lean a little more forward for a better look!!" - well anyway it needs some development...

Anyway - the challenge is just what to add - and what to take out - and I cant decide - no actually I don't want to decide... guess that's for tomorrow...

Un peu de tendresse bordel de merde!

In order to maintain the reputation of being totally insane I took Sooty to the show. Suffice it to comment this was not suitable for his age group... with total nudity for about 50% of the show. However, the show was a class act of disciplined dance and while I did end up with a naked man's bottom on my head (read about the show to discover why) I still had to respect the balls of 20 odd stark naked talented men and women dancers who got their kit off for their art. I have a number of friends who I know have got their kit off for less dignified endeavours - yes you know who you are !!!! Yes - I know who you are !!!!

big night out for the bare guitarist and his trusted colleague Sooty - and sooty was no stranger to drinking wine this night....

so a couple of nights now I have not progressed my show, in terms of the material, but I have had the opportunity to mention it to a few people who seem to like the concept of what I am trying to achieve. However the straw poll seems to come out on the side of me being insane to do this in the first place... This doesn't bother me as I said in an earlier blog I am a couple of condoms short of an orgy ....

The worse for wear (beer) and knackered from a heavy Gym and cycling session earlier in the day - its time for bed before my blog becomes entirely the ranting of a lunatic.

With the thought that nothing ventured is nothing gained - then I have gained nothing from the last two days.... but tomorrow I must do some work on the show.
The Bare Guitarist...