I wasn't really planing to do a blog on Cape Verde ... but its too good an opportunity to miss .. so in theme of writers like JK rolling in it - George Luc rative and such ... this is the series book on lessons to be learned BEFORE you embark on a trip to Cape Verde ... these books have adult content and are not for the faint hearted....
Lesson 1 ........ A villa on an all inclusive resort - is neither a Villa nor an Apartment !!!
When you first arrive at Villas in Tortuga .. you are in a Villa, yes, but you have to register at the hotel reception like a hotel guest, to collect your keys to a fully enclosed, all inclusive resort. But you are not an all inclusive client... yet you register, you queue, you are checked in, like all other guests ...
This was the first strange thing to encounter .. but not the last. So enter what is advertised as a 5* all inclusive resort ... into the posh reception with everyone and their luggage .. and you with your luggage, and 2 boxes of food and drink and a box of beers from the nearest super market. NICE !!!
As the 400g of salami warms nicely in the heat of reception, an aroma stinking up the posh 5* reception, you are stood in a queue listening to madam bucket (bouquet is how it is pronounced) tell of their trip to "The Gambia" ... "oh yes we are very familiar with African culture from our safari to "The Gambia" ... It is tempting to mention the 15 years you have been going to Gambia .. not "The Gambia" - and how this is like saying Rotherham makes you totally familiar with the UK ... but humourless by now, not helped a less than faint waft of salami, cheese, and ham, which is going off by the second ... you stay silent. after all ... who cares.
Keys finally in hand - snooty receptionist who won't give us 2 keys - and boxes loaded we are driven by golf cart to our Villa. We can't get in as the single key she has deemed as suitable to get in - does not work ... !!! I am really not in a mood for this ....
Anyway - in at last - and to bed .... listening to a strange sound that sounds like a cat being strangled ... all night ... every 20 seconds or so ... over and over again ...
Lesson 1 .... The Villa chooses the person not the other way around Harry (as in his wand!) .... or my Padawans ...don't book a Villa based on an all inclusive campus ...
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